Weekend Adventures
Another Monday morning, and sis and I are both okay, which, considering our weekend, is a very good thing. The weekend was certainly fun, but it was *gasp* fraught with peril. Saturday morning was sunny for once, so we planned to drive to the Lion and Rhino park, which was about an hour from Johannesburg. Wendy cut up some granadillas (the best fruit EVER¡ there is granadilla yoghurt and juice and all sorts of delicious things here) and the knife slipped and sliced her poor finger. There was gobs of blood, but we bandaged it up creatively (using the supplies we could find, as the gauze pads had all disappeared in her move), and hoped the bleeding would stop. Sis was very brave, and still wanted to go to the park, and soon we were off. The park had lions and wild dogs roaming freely, and as long as one kept one¡¯s windows mostly closed, it is a safe way to enjoy lions. We watched the dogs and some sort of antelope, and then we came upon the lions! There were four lions and three of them crossed right in front of the car and sat beside to road. Rules? But I had a camera! I told Wendy to watch the fourth lion, and opened the window all the way and leaned out to take pictures. And suddenly from right behind me I heard a cough. A LION cough! He was 2 feet away from my head and coming closer. There were screams and eeks but we got the window closed right as he walked by (ignoring us completely). Someone had not been doing her lion-watching duty. I guess sis had gotten bored with watching a majestic lion, and instead had been examining her legs to see if they needed a wax. She did not even feel guilty about it!
There was a little pen where one could pet young lions. It looked like fun, so we paid our 20R (4$) and went in. The lions watched Wendy walk by. They watched the trainer walk by. Milo, a white tiger and the one who was closest to the door, watched me until I was beside him and then with a leap he latched his fangs onto my stomach.
I NEED my stomach! It does all sorts of useful things (like keeping my entrails in). I tried to push the lion away, but as soon as he let go and I twisted away he latched onto my back. There is not as much back for fangs to sink into, so I managed to push him off again, and then the demonic lion bit me in the rear. Poor me! The trainer was laughing. Wendy was laughing so much she could barely stand (or snap a picture). The other tourists outside the gate were laughing, and I was trying to imagine what life would be like with only a left-hand buttock. FINALLY the trainer made the lion let go, and we moved on. The next lion licked my leg and then nipped me below the knee. The next lion bit my left arm (one of the fangs punctured the skin and it swelled a bit later, filthy beast). I got one picture looking cute near a lion, but as we were heading out Milo found my rear again. Ouch! Poor me! We left the park and stopped at a gas station to clean off the red mud and to wash the lion nips. Then we drove to Johannesburg, where a family Wendy knows had invited us to an engagement party. It was a very interesting party, and a gorgeous property.
We left at 9, since we knew we had a long and potentially dangerous drive home. I drove, but we followed the Canadian High Commission rules for avoiding carjacking (which happen here to white girls who are alone all the time): DO NOT STOP. Red light? Roll towards is slowly so you can time it so that you won's have to stop. If you reach the light and it is still red, then run the light. (!) I made one wrong turn, off the highway into downtown Pretoria, but we still got home safely.
On Sunday morning we decided that Wendy's finger had bled long enough, and we drove down the street to the emergency room (since it was a Sunday there was no doctor's office open). Now, I have watched Grey¡¯s Anatomy on television, but I had never actually been in a private health care facility. Wow. I need to be rich. The parking is free and there are attendants to direct the patient to the correct entrance.
The hospital's foyer was decorated in a Roman theme ¨C busts in stone, pillars, etc. The emergency room was slightly less posh, but after signing in and getting coffees (the gift shop had fantastic lattes, and they were cheap, too!) we did not even sit down before we were being called into a room. The doctor was very nice, and he spent about an hour with us (it never hurts to be a cute girl. Or two.) Sis got a tetanus shot and two stitches. It took eight needles to freeze my sister's bionic finger, but she was really brave and has a cute bandage now. We stopped at Fruit and Veg City on the way home to buy some more granadillas, and went home for lunch. In the afternoon was my performance at the State Theatre, which went really well but for a few very annoying glitches.
The enormous dress which I was given to wear had not been shortened (the costume lady had waved her hand and said that I was not to worry when I expressed concern about the 6 feet or so of extra dress). It was enormous and heavy and everyone kept stepping on me. Also at the end of the performance I had been told that one of the singers would tell me when to go on stage for the bows. It sounded simple enough. Well, there were no bows. Instead, I was dragged onstage in the middle of a song and dance number which ended the show. A SONG which I had never heard before in my life, and a DANCE which I obviously did not know. Everyone else had changed from their ball gowns into their cocktail dresses. And they were dancing. I waved my arms and tried to keep up, but that was not fair, and it was not in my contract.
In the evening we watched Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. I want to be an animator!
There was a little pen where one could pet young lions. It looked like fun, so we paid our 20R (4$) and went in. The lions watched Wendy walk by. They watched the trainer walk by. Milo, a white tiger and the one who was closest to the door, watched me until I was beside him and then with a leap he latched his fangs onto my stomach.
I NEED my stomach! It does all sorts of useful things (like keeping my entrails in). I tried to push the lion away, but as soon as he let go and I twisted away he latched onto my back. There is not as much back for fangs to sink into, so I managed to push him off again, and then the demonic lion bit me in the rear. Poor me! The trainer was laughing. Wendy was laughing so much she could barely stand (or snap a picture). The other tourists outside the gate were laughing, and I was trying to imagine what life would be like with only a left-hand buttock. FINALLY the trainer made the lion let go, and we moved on. The next lion licked my leg and then nipped me below the knee. The next lion bit my left arm (one of the fangs punctured the skin and it swelled a bit later, filthy beast). I got one picture looking cute near a lion, but as we were heading out Milo found my rear again. Ouch! Poor me! We left the park and stopped at a gas station to clean off the red mud and to wash the lion nips. Then we drove to Johannesburg, where a family Wendy knows had invited us to an engagement party. It was a very interesting party, and a gorgeous property.
We left at 9, since we knew we had a long and potentially dangerous drive home. I drove, but we followed the Canadian High Commission rules for avoiding carjacking (which happen here to white girls who are alone all the time): DO NOT STOP. Red light? Roll towards is slowly so you can time it so that you won's have to stop. If you reach the light and it is still red, then run the light. (!) I made one wrong turn, off the highway into downtown Pretoria, but we still got home safely.
On Sunday morning we decided that Wendy's finger had bled long enough, and we drove down the street to the emergency room (since it was a Sunday there was no doctor's office open). Now, I have watched Grey¡¯s Anatomy on television, but I had never actually been in a private health care facility. Wow. I need to be rich. The parking is free and there are attendants to direct the patient to the correct entrance.
The hospital's foyer was decorated in a Roman theme ¨C busts in stone, pillars, etc. The emergency room was slightly less posh, but after signing in and getting coffees (the gift shop had fantastic lattes, and they were cheap, too!) we did not even sit down before we were being called into a room. The doctor was very nice, and he spent about an hour with us (it never hurts to be a cute girl. Or two.) Sis got a tetanus shot and two stitches. It took eight needles to freeze my sister's bionic finger, but she was really brave and has a cute bandage now. We stopped at Fruit and Veg City on the way home to buy some more granadillas, and went home for lunch. In the afternoon was my performance at the State Theatre, which went really well but for a few very annoying glitches.
The enormous dress which I was given to wear had not been shortened (the costume lady had waved her hand and said that I was not to worry when I expressed concern about the 6 feet or so of extra dress). It was enormous and heavy and everyone kept stepping on me. Also at the end of the performance I had been told that one of the singers would tell me when to go on stage for the bows. It sounded simple enough. Well, there were no bows. Instead, I was dragged onstage in the middle of a song and dance number which ended the show. A SONG which I had never heard before in my life, and a DANCE which I obviously did not know. Everyone else had changed from their ball gowns into their cocktail dresses. And they were dancing. I waved my arms and tried to keep up, but that was not fair, and it was not in my contract.
In the evening we watched Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. I want to be an animator!
posted by Melamondiale @ 5:32 AM
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